Let's pretend this is my own personal venting journal because what this post will entail should actually be personal and written in my very own (real) journal. But let's face it- no one reads my journal and no one can give me advice on something they can't read.
Cyberworld- WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown half of the time while the other half is filled with feelings of "I can't believe this is my life and how did I get so lucky?!" Such polar opposite feelings. I am sick and tired of seeing people who are sickeningly happy and never lose their cool with their kids ( I know, it's just a facade yada yada yada.....) Am I that bad of a mother? Am I really crazier than the rest of the population? Seriously, my two year old is going to be the death of me.
I will give you two scenarios:
#1. Sean woke up this morning happy as always. Smiling and ready for the day. I say, "Let's change your diaper." He immediately throws himself on the floor screaming, "Noooo........." I proceed to try and change his diaper with him kicking and screaming and throwing a major fit. While at the same time wanting to crawl back in my warm blanket and sleep another year til his tantrum is over.
#2. I reluctantly decided it was best to go on a jog if I wanted to lose that forty pounds that was supposed to be gone a month ago. So, we suit up and go. Good run. After having a massive heart attack we end up at the park like I promised the boys. We play. Sean runs away from me and almost ends up in the street. After I threaten time out a few times I leave Jake in the swing to get Sean. I then decide it was best to go home, of course. Sean agreed, surprisingly. I think, ok, that was a miracle and the day may turn out ok. At the car, I sit Jake next to the car and hope and pray another car won't decide to make a crazy wild turn and run him over. Sean is supposed to "touch the car" while I put the stroller in my backseat since we live in a condo without a garage. Sean would rather run around the car instead. I throw the massive stroller in and hope I didn't break anything as I slam it shut (and hope nothing falls out when I open it next time). I pick up Jake and go to take Sean's hand and he pulls my arm off trying to get away and then when I tell him he has to hold my hand and we're going up three flights of stairs to our condo he throws himself on the concrete and smacks something. While holding Jake I pick Sean up. No blood. I proceed to carry both boys up the three flights of stairs. Did I mention I live up three flights of stairs. Sean is screaming and I yell, "Look at that bird" in an overly cheerful voice to hopefully deflect his attention to the amazing vulture (that doesn't really exist by the way.) We get inside and I finally get what he is saying, "Car. Go." He wanted to get inside the car and go somewhere apparently. After fifteen more tantrums, he finally takes a nap.
Whew! After half a dozen cookies, diet mountain dew, a few distressing thoughts, I am calm now.
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10 comments:
Thank You. I also feel like the world is full of these insanely happy mothers. It's hard to tell what really goes on from the cutsie family photos plastered all over their blogs. I think you're are a great mom and you are very normal. Thanks for being honest. Oh and your lunch was awesome. That is pretty much an everyday meal of mine.
I don't really know what to say that will make you feel better, but I think you're a great mom! And having two boys so close together in age has got to be hard on anybody, especially while going through the "terrible two" stage. I guess my only thought is, when you have days and situations like the two you described, just re-read your "Sean and Jake" part 1 post (the grateful one) because you said some really great things about your boys in that post that I know are true, and reading them again when things are hard will remind you of the cute things that put a smile on your face.
Oh, Lori, you ARE normal. For one whole year--from the time she was 18 months old till basically now (she's 2 1/2)--I was convinced Emma was possessed by a demon or something. She was SO disobedient, SO emotional, SO inconsolable, SO uncontrollable. I was in tears at various times on most days. I'm finally at the point where I can tell you that it's just a phase. Sean will grow out of it. In the meantime, know that you are AMAZING. I might have had to give Emma away if I also had an infant on my hands during that stage.
From the scenarios you described, I can't think of any way you could have better handled those situations. Just RELISH the sweet moments, because some days it seems like they're hard to come by. :)
Oh no. I'm sorry. I had one of those days yesterday too - potty-training accidents left and right (5 before noon, yeah, FIVE). I was about ready to shut Jake in his room for the rest of the week. I hope today is better for the both of us!
Lori, I love that you just described a typical day in my house. Except you left out the mom screaming back during the diaper change. One thing I've found that kind of helps sometimes, I get Reed laughing by tickling or teasing right before I change him, then do the screaming part as quick as I can, then try to get him laughing again. Perfection is a process, don't expect that of yourself, or you will go crazy.
Three flights of stairs! Why even bother go jogging?! Sean is at a really hard stage, but I agree with Leslie; he'll grow out of it. I think all first children are just hard. My 4 1/2 year old is still my hardest in some ways. I know God gave you the kids you have for a reason, because you can be a better Mom to them than anyone else could. Motherhood is crazy hard MOST of the time and having your boys so close together makes it even harder. Your doing great. Hang in there.
I feel your pain chica! I had one of those identical "moments" yesterday with Dallin and Macie, and was wondering how other people do it. You're not alone, hang in there and call me next time and I'll meet you for a crappy food binge ;)
Um yeah, maybe you should come hang out at our house for a day ;) ps your cookies were SOOO good!!!
(there are quite a few times a day I just look at my children in awe wondering what to do as they are screaming or arguing or doing something naughty....Alivia is starting to lie....wow, okay)
YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!! :D
OH friend, I PROMISE you are not alone. I can't tell you how many times I have promised Myles Chocolate Chips, or whatever else if he will calm down, geez I would give him the world if he wouldn't freak out. Sometimes I just think WHY the crap do I try?
P.S. I want to shoot myself for thinking that living in a top floor condo was a good idea. Especially when I've got a cranky two year old, a baby in a car seat and the stupid diaper bag that weighs as much or more than Myles.
Are you kidding me. . . .my life is like this every day. I think you kept your cool really well. Two-year-olds are hard. Crazy hard. We should all be lucky to have survived this horrible, awful stage.
If it makes you feel any better Sean sounds a lot like Roger. Good news: they do grow out of it. Then one day you'll pick them up from school and they won't talk to you. . . . and you'll wish they were a two-year-old again.
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