(I chose her b/c not only is she crying but she is not the thinnest of people either exemplifying what I am feeling- fat and emotional!)
Oh the joys of hormones. Don't you just love bursting into tears in front of a complete stranger like almost sobbing uncontrollably over absolutely nothing. I don't know what my problem is (I guess, I can blame it on pregnancy but this has happened plenty of times when I wasn't pregnant). The other day at my doctors appt. I was supposed to get the glucose screening. The last time I did it (mind you it was not that long ago:) they gave me the yucky orange drink to take home, I took it home, drank it and was at the hospital to do the test w/in the hour. This time they sent me to three different places and made me sit there with a fussy little Seanie for the whole hour. When I found out I was in the wrong place the last time, I burst into tears and the two nurses looked at me like..."Okay, what do I do? Do I send her to the psych unit...oh wait she has a huge stomach she must be pregnant. Ohhhh that poor thing...." Proceeding to then pour me with utter sympathy making me cry harder.
It got done. Sean was not that fussy at all. Life was not over.
Then today, I ended up reading someones blog that I had not seen in a long time only to find out he got married and one year later his wife died! A video tribute was on his blog and I was bursting into tears!!!
I decided to "surf" the Internet (even though were were advised not to in Gen. Conf.)and find out any possible thing that could go wrong w/ the diagnosis of "single umbilical artery." Big mistake. Now, I'm freaking out about every possible thing even though I got a blessing and it says everything will be just fine and reminded me to have faith. A good friend of mine (a very blunt one) reminded me today that she (unlike me) will never have to tell her kids she "didn't want them" or they were a "surprise or mistake." She gently reminded me how stressed I was when I found out I was pregnant. It was not that I did not want this baby (not at all) but I'm just so pessimistic and hard on myself I honestly didn't think I could mentally and physically be a mom to a pretty needy toddler and a newborn! Anyway, she meant no harm I'm sure; it just stung a little. If anything goes wrong I will never forgive myself for being so stressed about being pregnant. I already deeply love this baby boy. When he moves, I just get so happy. Even when it's completely inconvenient like when I'm just about to sleep and he decides to practice his gymnastics ferociously. I still am so happy that he is moving and hopefully happy and healthy.
Really, life is wonderful. Everything will be okay and crying is totally normal. I think I'll go cry now..